BUA! Ngwana ya sa lleng o shwela tharing* – silence serves no one

14 Dec 2023

KeDecemberBossTsaKa… and a lot can happen during this time. A LOT!

I am taking this moment to share a lesson I learnt at a recent 2023 International Playback Theatre Network (IPTN) Conference. It was organised by five phenomenal women; Cherae Halley, Kathy Barolsky, Mammatli Thakhuli-Nzuza, Refiloe Lepere and Tarryn Lee (please google them!)

At this conference I learnt that ABUSERS of any kind, anywhere and in any context, ask for ONLY one thing from you – YOUR SILENCE.

Are there any instances that this ask was made of you or your loved ones?

As we prepare for ASSITEJ SA’s strategic planning early next year, I am keen to learn of ways through which we could use the arts to facilitate conversations that can free us from abuse. What are your thoughts? Please share them before 19 January 2024.

Synonyms Google search for abusers – from strongest to weak matches:

Strongest matches:

Offender, victimiser, wrongdoer

Strong matches

Culprit, evildoer, perpetrator, vilipender

Weak matches

Thug, villain, violator

Chat GPT suggested the below-

An abuser is someone who harms, controls, or mistreats another person, typically in a relationship or a position of power. Abuse can take various forms, including physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, or psychological. Abusers often exert dominance and manipulate their victims, causing fear, trauma, and long-lasting emotional or physical damage. It’s important to recognize the signs of abuse and seek help or support if you or someone you know is experiencing it.

Could you find these words in your mother tongue? Idioms, riddles or stories?

I will start:

Abuser in mother tongue – Malomafodisa.

Abuser story – Moselantja betrayed Tselane. She took on her identity. When she was found out, she morphed into an unripe watermelon that tormented Tselane by beating her up. Tselane’s partner managed to crush the watermelon and it turned into a devil’s thorn, tormenting Tselane’s child. Ultimately Moselantja was overcome.

*Ngwana ya sa lleng o shwela tharing is a Sesotho expression that can loosely be translated to mean a child who does not cry may die on the back of the one carrying them.

Lalu Mokuku is the Chairperson of ASSITEJ SA and ASSITEJ International EC member. She will be attending ASSITEJ SA strategic meeting in January 2024. She had coffee with the co-founders of Playback Theatre; Jonathan Fox and Jo Salas at IPTN.